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7 Things NOT to Say to a Pregnant Lady…..

Posted January 20th, 2011 in fresno, Fresno Birth Doula, Pregnancy by admin
My daughter is pregnant and due in a couple of weeks.  She seems to think that ‘she is done’ and so ready to be not pregnant anymore.   Then I read this and had to laugh because all I could think about was my precious daughter!
7 Things NOT to Say to a Pregnant Lady

…Especially Near the End

Submitted by allisonmusick

1)”You should have the baby on (specific date) because so-and-so was born on that day.” 
 Really?!?!   I don’t care.

2)”Don’t have the baby tonight/tomorrow because I have (specific activity) and don’t want to miss it.”
No problem, don’t let our state of unbearable discomfort inconvenience you.

3)”You’re only how far along? You’re huge! ” or “You’re how far along? Wow, you’re not very big.”
We’ll thank you to keep your comments about our size to yourself. If we wanted your opinion, we’d ask.

4)”When are you due? When are you due? When are you due?”
This may seem harmless but we’ve actually already told about 50 other people before you, and yes, all before 10am this morning. We were only barely talked out of getting a Sharpie and writing the date across our foreheads and our belly. If we look like we’re about to pop, we probably are, so just assume the answer is: any day now.

5)”You’re how many days overdue? Aren’t you ready to have that baby yet?”
No. Didn’t you know we enjoy being tortured?!

6)”When I was pregnant with my (first, fifth, twentieth), this is what happened…”
This might be fine. Sometimes moms-to-be are hungry for baby talk and eat it up. But it sort of depends on the point of the story, the person talking, the pregnant lady listening, and whether the info was solicited or not. A high-strung prego who’s confiding in you about how scared she is of labor does NOT need to hear your horror story about how you, or such-and-such, had a 36-hour labor, needed 27 stitches and 5 epidurals, and couldn’t see the baby for 2 weeks after it was born. Please, please use common sense! (If you don’t have any, err on the side of mostly listening and not talking.) If you have to tell stories, encouraging stories are the only really safe kind.

7)”You really shouldn’t hope for (an early baby, a fast delivery, anything positive, really) because (fill in statistics and/or whatever reason) …I’m just trying to keep you from being disappointed.”

Repeat after me: DO NOT DISCOURAGE A PREGNANT LADY. We are vulnerable creatures, literally at the mercy of the slightest shift in our already-messed-up hormones. We are living day by day, sometimes hour by hour. If we want to hope for a purple baby with pink hair who comes out singing Italian arias, just smile and tell us how lovely that sounds. It’s a leap for us to even talk to you about it, in some cases. So lie to us. Thanks.

The Bottom Line

Seriously…the bottom line is, while most of the time we are friendly people who are really excited about the new life being created inside us and are happy to talk about it, you have to understand how many times we’ve heard at least a few of the above mentioned questions or statements throughout the last nine months. When nearing the end of a pregnancy, it can become difficult to keep repeating the answers to the same questions over and over and over every single day, every time we see someone, and it can also get tiring to pretend we’re interested in and excited to hear someone’s opinion when we’ve already heard at least 20 others that day, and possibly 10 or more were the exact same thing. So please just take that into consideration. If you don’t know what to say, a simple, “How are you doing?” is always appreciated. 🙂



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